Need of Isolation

I need a space to rant; where I could express my disappointments, frustrations, and anger. I am just angry so angry at the moment. I was put in a situation where everything’s forced upon me: my whole life. Decisions and choices were dictated. It was as if speaking myself out was a crime. I was made to please everyone but myself. My voice was never heard;never given a choice. If I were, it must have been implied. If asked,what I think or how I feel, answers should be in accordance to what you like. If not, then we would have a problem-an issue never to be resolved again. Tell me I’m wrong. I’ll probably admit it. Keeping quiet is easy keeping true to myself is a challenge. In silence, I weep. I question who I am. I question my own capacity to think. I doubt my abilities. I lost courage along the way.

To the few who will come across this post please don’t judge. I do not always blurt my feelings out. I don’t hate the world nor the person who controls my every move. I wrote this post just so I could release the negative in me and try to invite more positive ones. Again, I don’t hate. I even made this post because I hope for change. I want to live life more break from this confinement. With this, I ask you to pray with me that I may find myself again that I’d be given courage. I love to live. I just hope I’d be given a chance to live it.

At the Lowest

I am stuck in a moment where I cant do anything more. I believe that I did everything I can. I am troubled. I cant breathe. Sometimes I just want to throw everything out. What’s worse, the people you expect to care about the least of you are no where to be seen, at least felt. On the bright side, there are people who surprise you with concern. I need my parents now so badly. I need their affirmation that ill be okay. I cant tweet; cant even bare facebook: too much celebration. I am antisocial.

Gambate!

20120916-001819.jpg

You just have to push! Yes, one last stretch to try and keep me under my degree program. I would stop worrying about the exam results and just think of what else I could do with the time I have left. I would not lie that this early on, I am a struggling engineer. There’s a big part of me admits that I may not be made for this but if it would make my parents happy; why not try? It is hard, why else would I struggle? Well, there there I should stop whining. Maybe an entire post must me dedicated to that; which of course no one would read about!

Someday, a fairytale

“I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme.
I hate it, I hate the way you’re always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you’re not around and the fact that you didn’t call.
But mostly I hate the way the way I don’t hate you.
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.”

I love chicflicks and love stories! I M undeniably a hopeless romantic haha! This poem was from 10 Things I Hate About You: a new addition to my feel good movie list. There’s just a magic in these films that brings optimism in me. This maybe the idea of happy endings; that all things would end up in their proper places and everyone would just live in content. I look forward to my own happy ending, not necessarily in the arms of my knight or prince charming but of the things I try to accomplish at present. ( commercial then Not Like in Movies by Katy Perry played —really now?! HAHAHAA) Someday, all things will be in its perfect place; hopefully I would have mine in a fairytale-like ending! ❤

F*ck Positivity

Do you ever get tired of reading statuses and tweets with “fuckin” ? Well I do! Especially when these are about concerns you should be least worried about. I do understand that there are things which go out of hand, matters that you wished had gone another way but would you let these things ruin your day,or worse even your life? I just wish that people get to be more positive about life. Everyday, there are things we could be thankful for just being alive and safe are two. I cant stand pessimists who choose to ruin their days and bring people down with them. It doesn’t help people who try to surpass their problems of today and still be hopeful for a better tomorrow. Share the loooove and happiness everyone! 🌈💗🎶

First Post!

I’ve been wanting to have a blog for ages but I don’t have the courage to do so! But I know I have a mountain of thoughts needed to be heard. After years, here I am! Maybe it would be easier to sleep when I am able to unload them here. Hopefully some of you would appreciate my posts even if they are not about  extravagant socialite parties nor I wearing  fancy dresses I hope people would relate with them, at least appreciate them. If not, at least I am able to say what I want! hahaha!